Play safe: safe word and limits, anal play, edging and denial
Any task can be skipped. Anyone can stop the game at any moment, no explanation needed.
Safe word and limits
- Agree on a safe word before you start. A common system: "yellow" means slow down, "red" means stop now.
- If someone canโt speak (gag, mouth busy), agree on a signal instead: dropping an object or tapping three times.
- Check in regularly. Silence is not a yes.
- Plan aftercare: water, a blanket, cuddling and a calm talk afterwards.
Anal play
- Use lots of lube and add more often. The body does not make its own lubrication there.
- Start small and go slowly. Pain means stop, not push through.
- Only use toys with a flared base. Anything without one can slip in and need a doctor to remove.
- Never go from anal to vaginal without washing the toy or changing the condom.
- Silicone lube can damage silicone toys: use water-based lube with them.
Edging and denial
- Edging is a game, not an endurance test. Stop if anything feels painful or uncomfortable.
- Punishments should be playful and agreed in advance.
You'll need
- Lube
- Stroker
- Vibrator
What's inside
With
- Hand
- Other hand
- Stroker sleeve
- Lots of lube
- Pillow
- Vibrator on the tip
- Prostate toy too
- Your choice
Grip
- Loose
- Tight
- Fingertips only
- Two hands
- Twisting
- Tip only
- Palm only
- Thumb and finger ring
- Upside-down grip
- Lots of lube, no grip
Speed
- Very slow
- Slow
- Steady
- Fast
- Speed up every 30 seconds
- Stop and start
- Match a song
- Ten slow, ten fast
- Slowest you can stand
- Edge speed
Edges first
- None
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
Finish
- On your stomach
- On your chest
- In your hand
- Into the sleeve
- In the shower
- Wherever you like
- Not this round
- Roll again
If you finish early
- No touching for 48 hours
- Next session: double the edges
- Toy on the lowest setting only, next time
- Confess it to your partner
- Start the next session with the plug in
- No finishing next time